The Write Story: In Conversation with Umm Afraz Muhammed

One thing I love about the reading-writing community is discussing their books with their authors. As a writer, I know how important and precious their books are to the authors. So, today we discuss the novel Here With You with the author herself, Umm Afraz Mohammed.

Firstly, I must say I loved your book. Mainly because it felt so close to home! I have seen these things happen to people. So, what inspired you to tell this story?

Jazakillahu khayran for your kind words. And yes, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law issue is very common. In fact, it is not specific to a culture or time, rather it is spread throughout different cultures and has been an age-old topic of concern.

Many of my friends and contacts used to talk about their issues as a daughter-in-law. And I used to wonder what would the mother-in-law say, feel, and think about her daughter-in-law. That got me thinking that everyone has a story, a perspective from their side. And I wanted to show that not every daughter-in-law or mother-in-law is a monster. They have their good side and flaws, just like everyone else.

In the present writing scene, romances are often viewed as whirlwind and passion-driven. Many believe this to be a sure shot formula for the book’s success. Were there people/beta readers echoing these thoughts? Or were there doubts about the story? How did you overcome them?

I love this question. There were a couple of beta readers who would have liked slightly more steamy scenes whilst maintaining the halal aspect. But honestly, I couldn’t get myself to write more than what I have already have. I know authors who cater to such audience and they do write well. But I don’t fit the bill. Or the bill doesn’t fit me *laughs*.

Let’s talk characters! What were your inspirations in writing these characters?

I wanted my characters to be real, to be relateable, and be like someone the reader knows. I had a tough time developing the characters, mainly Faisal, but alhamdulillah, with the help of my editor, Umm Marwan Ibrahim, I was able to build up his personality.

One of my most favourite characters was Fatima. Apart from the sweet romance, her character is shown to have the most development and changes throughout the story. But another thing I loved about it was the fact that while she could be painted as an antagonist, she thought herself to be right in her own mind and perspective. How did you find this balance between keeping the character human as well as somewhat of a villain?

You know, I have come to love Fatima the most, because of her transformative character. I wanted to show people/readers that a mother-in-law from the get-go is a human. And just like everyone, she thinks she is right. No parent in their sane mind would intentionally jeopardize their child’s marriage. Whatever she did, she did out of love for her son, believing that she was right in her actions. She isn’t an evil person. She is your everyday common mother-in-law.

Your characters are very real, people we see in everyday life or even reflections of ourselves. How did you keep those characters so real - made them flawed yet lovable?

Credit for character development really goes to my editor. She made me think and really dig deep into their character, personality, their likes, their dislikes, everything really. I knew how I wanted Salma to be, she was fairly easy to build up. She is a highly polished version of who I was/am *laughs*. Fatima was also somewhat easy to build up. She is a mix-and-mash-up of a couple of mothers-in-law I know *covers face and laughs*. Faisal was difficult to bring up. Initially, when I wrote up Faisal, I literally brought up the highly-sensitive Brendan Fraser of Bedazzled (excuse me for the movie reference, I’m not endorsing/advertising the movie in anyway). And then I was like, no way, this is not who Faisal is. So alhamdulillah, Abu Afraz and Umm Marwan helped me to build his character the way he is now *smiles*

If you could say one thing to the newly married girls in a similar setting as Salma, what would it be?

Take things slow. Marriage is a change of status, and along with it comes the change of lifestyle pattern. Moving to an in-law’s place is a step higher than that. It takes time to adjust with each other and one another.

Who is your favourite character in your book? Who did you have the most fun writing about?

Hands-down, Fatima. I loved working with her. I was most emotional when I wrote her. If you are asking about fun, then it is Faisal, I had fun building him up *grins and winks*.

Tell me one scene from your book that moved you while you re-read it?
One of the scenes that moved me was when Fatima reminisces about her past and how she was grateful for her blessing, Faisal. Apart from mother-in-law daughter-in-law issue, Here With You also touches upon the issue of PCOS and the difficulty in conceiving children.

What is your writing process? How do you maintain consistency in writing?

I write a lot during group-accountability sessions, like NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). As I’m a mother to three kids, and a current student of Master of Arts in Islamic Studies, I rarely find time to write everyday.

How do you think a Muslim writer should find the balance between rules of shariah, making the characters flawed and finally conveying the correct message of Islam?

It is important to show the reality of the world today. Writing an idealistic story, although maybe good for da’wah purposes, it doesn’t portray the Muslims in real life. And real life, real characters, real stories, these are what will get your writing influencing people. If you have a character who drinks alcohol, let him drink. But make sure you don’t lead the readers to believe that drinking alcohol is permitted.
And alhamdulillah the Shariah is broad in accepting many types of writing. As long as you know you aren’t over-stepping the boundaries of Islam, and you are comfortable with your writing, then, by all means, go ahead.

What will be your advice to aspiring Muslim authors?

Check your intention. Why are you writing? Think about where you want to stand with your writing in front of Allah. Do you want your fingers, your pen, your keyboard, your words to speak for you, or against you, in the Day of Judgement? Think about it and then start writing. And once you start writing, don’t stop to edit. Let the words grow out, and you can weed them out later.

Tell me some of your must-reads by Muslim authors.

There are so many, but I will tell you a couple with a keyword that I think fits best:

• His Other Wife, by Umm Zakiyyah - Spiritual Abuse

• Nothing But Love, by Zeneefa Zaneer - Romance

• The Broken Half, by Sahar Abdulazeez - Domestic Abuse

• Behind Picket Fences, by Hend Hegazi - Family

• A Part of Me Refused to Die, by Nisha Sulthana - Memoir

Jazakillah Khair sister for this wonderful interview, it was really insightful going through your answers and of course, I wouldn't mind new additions to my TBR. 

You can find Here With You here.

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Why Criticism is Important for Writers and How to Handle It!

This week, I decided to take a break from my reviews and share with you something I found very, very useful in my journey as a writer.

Handling criticism has never been my strongest suit. On the contrary, I am the kind of person who would stop writing for weeks if I would get one negative comment on my story.

I started writing and posting online when I was fourteen. And it was not until very recently that I realized the importance of criticism and how important it is to a writer - only when handled carefully.

This post will mainly be about on how to handle criticism in reference to online writing or even blogging.

Also, most of the inspiration for this article came from College Info Geek podcast which speaks more on how to handle criticism in general. I found the podcast very helpful, while it spoke a lot about on how to handle criticism about writing, it was not very specific and thus I decided to just apply the podcast to writing for my fellow writers. You can find the podcast here.

Advantages of Criticism to A Writer

1. The Shortcut to Learn New Things

If we didn't have criticism in our life, we will have to take the long way to learn anything.

The podcast started with this line and this, basically, sums up why we need criticism in our life. It is the shortcut to new knowledge. 
No matter what an avid reader you are, you cannot possibly traverse all genres and technicalities of writing within a limited span of time. Learning can occur from experience - so, you publish ten books and your eleventh book based on those experiences is your breakthrough. And I don't know about you, it takes me at least two years to complete a novel. I guess it will be easier for authors - who just write. But then again, in the present publishing scenario, there are many things an author is supposed to do especially for marketing.
In a nutshell, taking the advice of someone who is offering it - is like learning from their experience. It may seem like a hard slap if the criticism is too scathing, but trust me, it will save you a couple of years or more.

2. Evolution as a Writer

If you have been writing for a while, I beg you to stop for a moment and look back at the thing you wrote for the first time. You know, the piece you were so proud of that you read it to many people or even posted it online and now compare it to what you have been writing now.
That is my point.
If you do not get criticism, you will become stagnant and perhaps, end up writing the same thing again and again.

3. Improve Writing Skills

I can vouch through my seven years of writing online that the thing I wrote in 2012, I would not bother reading today. Why? Obscure sentences, bad grammar, no expression and multiple uses of 'said' - I remember when a reviewer back in my fanfiction days told me

"Said is boring - we all know that your characters are either speaking or thinking but tell me how they are speaking it, what's their tone, why they are saying it that way. Are they making animated hand gestures? Or are they calm and stoic? Do they speak softly? Or ina high-ptiched tone? Or are they hoarse from the mile they ran? Don't just tell me what they said tell me how they said it, why they said it."

What an advice! Something that stuck with me to this day. And added dimensions to my narration. So, when you are getting a feedback or criticism and you reflect on it - you'll improve.

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How to Handle Criticism?

• Don't be the Dragon:

  I think that once we begin to write a lot, and start to gain some semblance of readership and accolades for our writing, we become a bit like a dragon hoarding the treasure. It's your masterpiece, and you love it. So, you become defensive. And that's the problem. The key here is, you are not the dragon. You are the creator of the treasure. So, even though, a knight might come along and not find your treasure worth stealing. It's okay - you can improve it.

• Be the Humble Worker:

  When you get criticism from someone, you tend to ask "So, how many books have you published?" Don't. It's not about that. It is actually about having a mindset that anyone can teach you something important. I don't intend to go all philosophical over here. But it is the truth. Even a reader who has no clue about writing technicalities reminds you of things like foreshadowing, obscure sentences and completely unrequired scenes in your story. So, don't go all, "What have you achieved?" But instead, "What can I take from this one?"

• Leave the Criticism When You're Emotional

  Alright. Your emotions are running high and you think that this review is just something that is going to push you towards frying your hard drive and burning your manuscript. Ignore the criticism. Keep it aside. Let it marinate for a while. Then, a week or two later, open up that criticism again. And actually, reflect on it. We are not emotional fools, but we tend to do foolish things when emotional. Take a very logical and objective look at the feedback or criticism.

• The Criticism is not a Criticism of You but Your Work

  So, please, don't take it personally. It's not about you or where you come from but about what your writing is conveying. Sometimes, what you are trying to convey is not what you're actually conveying. Don't take any criticism as a personal attack - and about being defensive, we have already established - Don't be the dragon.
  

   

• Balance Between Your Writing and Criticism

  This is a vast topic in itself, but I will be very brief over here. You have your goals and vision of your story in your mind. Now, the key is reflecting on your criticism but not becoming a slave of every review you get. Because, you cannot please everyone. Take every type of criticism you get and evaluate on how it is helping you in your final goal.

Some Mental Hacks

• When you receive a criticism and it hurts, go back to your own old work and gain a perspective
• Every year or so, check whether you have improved from the previous year or not.
• Not all criticism is valid - empathise with the ones who send in hate messages - they must be having a very bad day. Move on.
• Determine your goals, and weigh in every criticism you get with the idea, "Does this lead me to where I want to go?"

And that's it for today. Do tell me what you think in the comments below. Feedback - as this post has already assured - is always appreciated.
Have a good day!

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